If I Drop You

If I ask you to leave,
Does that make me a cruel one?
Even though you can't care enough
To realize your mistakes.
Even though you are the one
Who carries all the faults.
Do anyone understand why I drop you?
Will they eventually know?

I sent you packing
I set you apart.
I sail you away.
I don't want you back,
Even though I'd like to see your face
For one last time.

With you the harmony is out of tune,
No matter how well I play alone.
With you the reasons become illogical,
No matter how much sense I make.
I am just walking around your wreckage,
And picking up pieces of you.
You blew smokes and ashes
Whenever the sky gets clearer.

No more sadness,
No more happiness,
Nothing matters,
because I am free.
I walk alone, I fall alone,
and I care about you no more.

The Sun Will Rise

I..., do not see you
The approaching sunrise
And the white blaze burns.
Just waiting for you.
And do you even realize
The deadly consequences.

You just shove away,
The senses and reasons.
Chasing after blood and joys.
Living for today,
Driven by silent voices,
Play carelessly and aimlessly.

So, you will try to hide,
The end comes at the sunrise.
But where could you make a shelter?
Or.., you choose to die,
Burn to ashes in the daylight.
Be a martyr of forever pleasure.

The black dusts smoke.
Was that what you became?
I just stand, stare, and silence.
The sun just rose.
The forever routine began.
I am indifferent for your vanish

Is this who you are?

Keep silence in the crowd wondering,
Which mask belongs, which smile suits,
The crowd you are indifferently embracing.
Then you put on the make up and fit in.

These are the thoughts that clouds
You every there and every time.
You need the attention of the crowd,
To feel loved and to feel alive.

Your darkness is surpressed and
Threatened into the corner of your heart.
You dare letting it out just when
strange ones are not roaming around.

And it is me who you face without them masks;
Who you dare to put down as your darkness rises.

2 Hours

I walked out of the dark alley, and the rain had come down pouring on me. I was alone, dashing on the sidewalk and passing the bars where many beautiful young girls stood or sat. They were looking for the next spender to take them away from the crowded, alcoholic, and smokey little bars. They were waiting to be taken away to someone's hotel room, and took the money while giving away their right to enjoy love-making. I didn't look too close, and I didn't want to. Two hours inside the dark alley had frozen my brain, and I couldn't come to my senses and reasons every since.



I left my feeling there. I left my love there. That was why I came out of there souless.



Deep in the alley, up after a dark stairway, and in the dark hallway, she greeted me out of the room. She escorted with her hand in mine, and with her face leaned on my shoulder. She walked besides me to the opened door and let go. She waived and smiled. Then I crumbled inside. I realled her question from ealier "are you really gonna packed me up tp go with you"?



"I would if my backpack was big enough". I said, and my words were followed my her laughter. The laughter continued as we talked about our dreams, our life, our family, and our past. She held me closely, and buried my face in her chest. I felt her warmth. I felt her touches all over my body, my face, and my hair. I really wished to have to ability to pack her up and go with me. So I could feel her love and caress her perfectly smooth skin every moment in my life. I wished to have her near me, so she could joke and giggle besides me. Her eyes looked into me, and realized my thought. She realized my wish, and she kissed me. I was worried, she said, I didn't know who was behind the window". I was shocked and asked "you couldn't see the customer" with surprise and sadness. She eyed my emotion and quickly wanted me not to look sad. In the dark room, I have found the most honorable love in the filthiest place one can imagine. Eventually the two-hour was up, and I have no will to part. "You will hold a place in my memory, and I will never forget about you. You said 90% of a man's words are lies, and I have used all 10% of truth for you today". I could see her trembling after my words. She let go of what she was holding temporarily, and came over for a closed embrace. Finally I slowly walked toward the door, and she pulled my hand from behind and kissed me on the lips again. I had a clear look at her face that was filled with appreciation and sadness together. Witnessing this, I went toward her before the door was opened to the dark hallway, and gave her one last kiss on her lips - the smiling lips that blew me away just a little while ago.



A little while ago, shortly after my last tangle with her, she laid awkwardly on my belly and played me. She was so relaxed and bubbly. She talked about her former jobs, and asked me many questions. I was wondering if I was disturbing her clock. "Two hours", she said, "there is a plenty of time left until they knock on the door. Before that knock, I am staying here with you. I like being with you". I pintched and played with her soft and beautiful perks for saying that to me, and she was greatly tickled as she giggled. She smiled at my way of appreciation, and she returned favor with her hands as well. Suddenly she moved. She positioned her face between my thighs, and began slowly slipping her tongue on me. Until that part of me grew big enough, she said "I am not letting go, and I am not stopping at all this time". She then bury me behind her lipsm, and slip up and down slowly. I felt her lips, her tongue, and her throat pushing against me. The stimulation was so high that I started groaning. The little devil then started to turn up her massage, and with every stroke it got faster and harder. I was trying to hold, and try to get myself distracted. But her wild play didn't allow much of that. Finally I coudn't hold back anymore. I exploded all that was left into her. Still she wouldn't let me off the hook that easily. With grunting at its loudest, she was still trying to drain the last drop of me away. Eventually I had nothing left to feed her, and she took the dying me to get cleaned. She washed me gently this time, and then had us dried. "Are you in a rush"? she asked. I gently shook my head, and sat down on the side of the bed. She walked toward me and said "let's talk a little. I wanted you to be with me until the end". Up hearing this I held her and felt her beautiful curves with my hands. I wouldn't want to let go now either. Just like when I first got inside of her moments ago.



The moment part of me was rubber-covered and lubed, she smiled and began to ride on me. I didn't meet with much resistance on my way going inside of her. She was dripping after my finger slipping, and I was an oiled maching thanks to her. On top of me, she shook like a there was no tomorrow. Her moving jugs and curved middle were voilently massaged by my hands. She was in control of me until I could no longer tolerating her on top of me. I sat up and pushed her down. I lifted her long and beautiful legs, so I could get a better penetration. I pounded into her, drilling for more sticky springs. My hands were also searching for a little squeezing and pintching game on her body. I gave all I had to ensure that her moaning was as seductive as it could be. Her fainting cries really hit me hard - so hard that made me decide to take even more command of her. I pulled out, and turned her upside down on the wetted sheet. From behind she took it. From behind I stroke it. She let her fountain drip, and I let me fingers slipped. My inserting stick rolled on and my finger rubbed against her sentitive spot. She curled and wiggled, but I couldn't stop myself from giving her more love. The clashing between she and I was sounding louder in every contact. Until I finally couldn't hold on anymore, she juiced me into the thin plastic that separated us. I laid back and held her in my arms. I kissed her all over to show my appreciation to her until she broke free from me, and cleaned me from my own mess that she helped created. I was really glad that I held on when she first tried to released me, so I could have such a great relief. After the brief cleaning, she came back into my arms letting me play all over her milk chocolate colored skin. "Was I good"? She asked. I reply "You were amazing. You are amazing. I hope everyone will treat you as good as I am. And I will never allow anyone to disrespect or hurt you. Or"! I then stopped. "Or what", she asked with a all-knowing smile. "I will beat them up for you", I said with a laugh. "Oh! How nice of you? Though 90 percent of a man's words are lies, I know," she replied. "I am different", I looked at her gently and emotionally. She seized her talking, and we tangled nakedly. I would never thought to fall in love so easily. I sure didn't think of this when we walked into this room.



After my selection and a short introduction, she took me into one dark room. She began draining hot water into the tub, and pouring in the soap. I was sitting in the corner, and watching her doing her work. A short conversation had me realizing that she was a part time "massage therapist". She was doing this when she had time. She used to be a sales for an international company. She traveled to Japan and China for business, but the pay wasn't much for a little saleswoman. All seemed like a pre-planned story, so I was just listening to her words and replying with my own history. Soon she took off the little things that she wore, and showed her polished skin in front of me. She had a curve of a Greek sculpture. She had milky chocolate skin, wavy long hair, curved buns, and nice little jugs. Her bottom was nicely shaved, and her smile was stunning. She came over to undress me, and touched me while she was removing my clothes. "Beautiful", she said. "So are you," I replied. Then she led me to the tub slowly. I couldn't resist my feeling anymore and grabbed her from behind. I reached her soft peaks, and her wetting valley. I felt her trembles as I hit the spot each time, and was getting more and more excited. She stopped me suddenly, and whispered "come in here, and let me play with you". How could I have said no? I jumped into the heated tub water, and laid down on my back. With soapy water covering me, she began washing me with every inch of her skin. It was the best bath I have ever had as she used her hands, tongue, and bottom lips to brush all over me. She had my blood all rushed to a rising pole. Then she teased and massaged that standing tip with her demonic intend. I had not been touched like this for over ten months, and I almost couldn't hold on to it. She kept wanting to get me juiced, but I refused. I wanted her to save it for later pleasure. Unwillingly she gave up, and pulled me out of the tub. She had me belly down on an air mattress, and started massaging me further with her buns. She was sliding all around my back. I needed this especially after a long day. I began grunting out of pleasure until she flipped me up side down on the mattress. Continuing her sliding, she flattened my standing pole and clamping it between her soaped and wetted bottom lips. She kept rubbing until I begged for a little mercy. With a satisfactory smile, she lifted me up from this pleasuring hell. She spared me from letting all go momentarily, and then washed the soap off me. After some really sensual drying, she put me down on to the bed and continued her effort to vaccum me. She was good at what she was doing, but I continued to fight against her fluting. Pulling out and away from her mesmerizing lips, I tackled her down and spreaded her leg wide. Finally, I had a good view to her shutted flesh. It was beautifully shaven, and amazingly shaped. I slowly opened that nicely closed door, and witnessed some hot juice dripped off. My tongue, like a red snake, moving around and into the cave of dripping springs. I was searching for more to cure my thirst. During my search, she started tickling and twisting. Her light moans wanted to give her more pleasure. So my fingers were joining to make her feel a climax. Inside of her, my bones looked for little bumps - the bumps that stimulate the most for any woman. I found them, and let them feel the wrinkles of my fingers. The frictions of us took her to another level of screaming. She was begging for stop, but I wouldn't let her as she almost successfully exploded me a several time ealier. I moved away my snaking tongue, continued to massage her tightness, and left my hardness next to her thirsty lips. She took that red tip into her, but spitted out when felt any orgasmic shock. Then at a loud cry, she leg muscles tightened, and I knew she reached that heavenly point. She panted and trembled for a little while, then began to take her revenge on me. She pushed me down on the same bed, and whispered "is it time"? I smiled and accepted the challenge. I nodded. I nodded just as when I firsted walked into the dark alley and up the dark stairway a few minutes ago.



I walked into the dark alley, and up the stair cases. I didn't know what to expect. Was it going to be good or bad? I had no idea. All i knew was: it was going to rain soon just like every day else here. It was going to rain big inside and outside. There was no turning back. Upstair some old woman greeted me and rang the girls to go inside the fishbowl. I didn't think too much as I spotted her. I spotted her smile. I spotted her sensuality and kindness. No matter what happened, I decided to give my love to her in the next two hours. So I nodded to the old lady about the first girl on the left. "The first girl from the left", the old lady cried, " good choice sir. It's her first day here".



In that two hours, I cleared all my doubts and left all my love in her. I had no regret at all going in as I was leaving that dark alley. Her scent was quickly washed away from my skin by the pouring rain. But her scent was attached to my memory forever.

Thank You

I am standing here alone, but I am not lonely. There are memories, and there are feelings running inside my head. They are keeping me going, and I am thankful to have them in my life. They keep me going, and they are the reason that I am the way I am.

For giving me birth, for raising me, for taking care of me when I am hurt, and for always being there with me whether at night or day, thank you.

For yelling at me, for being jealous of me, for making fun of me, for every bad joke you were saying about me, and for every good intention that make me better, thanks to you.

For supporting me, for laughing with me, for crying with me, for fighting with me, and for failing with me, for everlasting good memories, I thank you,

For beating me, for punching me, for failing me, for destroying me, and for always coming up with new ideas to restrain me and thus making me stronger, Your efforts are appreciated.

For cheating on me, for lying to me, for hurting me, for loving me, for kissing me, for saving me from loneliness, and for every orgasmic pause, I appreciate it.

For good times, for bad times, for traveling with me, for enjoying live with me, you have my appreciation.

For touching me, for changing me, for giving me a broader view of the world, and for giving me everything without needing a single thing in return, thank you.

Thank you.

Landslide

If I was only a little bit more heartless, I would have walked away from the bar and avoided any further encounter. Yet I was sitting there on the seat tearily, and staring at this emotional cry out from the stage. Next to me was my wife. She knew of the story, but she didn't know anything beyond that. At least, I convinced myself that she knew nothing.

From the stage came a voice that introduced her next song, "I am sure all of you have heard of this song", said the singer. "My Mom used to sing this song to me. And even though I have never heard of Stevie in my childhood, I have heard enough to learn this song. To my mother, this song means as much as I to her. Without the man who taught her this song and saved her from the street, I wouldn't be here. And my beloved Mother wouldn't have given us a chance to survive this long. Even though we are never to see him and thank him again, I wish he is living well somewhere in the world. This song is for him, from my Mother and I".

She plucked the guitar, and the song began to dance around the hall.

"I took my love, I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'Till the landslide brought me down

Mirror in the sky, What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

I don't know...

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too
I'm getting older too

So take this love, take it down
If you climb a mountain and turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide bring it down

And If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide bring it down
Oh the landslide bring it down...."

This wasn't from Stevie Nicks. This came from a young woman whose emotion just affected the whole room. While she was singing, the club was quiet enough that a cough could sound like a thunder. Her voice was clear and convincing. Her feeling made every word in the song alive. Until the end, her crys had brought tears in my eye. For others, applause and cheers didn't express how much they have been affected by her feelings.

In the end of the song my hands are held by my loved one who sat next to me speechlessly. Her eyes were holding thoughts back, but I didn't know what it was. Until we were leaving, she went to pick up the car and left me alone in the club. I took the chance and looked at the young singer. She was looking at me from far away with a smile on her face as if she recognized me. She then nodded to me, and then waved. Her face covered by a fulfilling smile. And I puzzled. Did she really recognized me? And how?

On the way back to our home, I was quiet and distant. After a few turns, my dear wife pulled up to the driveway and stopped. "It has been about twenty years, hasn't it"? She asked. While I was shaking my head, she continued with her words, "by the square an underage girl was pregnant and was abandoned my the father and her family. She was given up her life, but was saved and taken into a shelter by a traveling business man".

"You knew this"? My eyes were opened wide in shock.

"She survived herself and the child in her belly. By that time his one year business exchange ended. He returned to San Francisco to his own family. Monthly, he supported the Mother and her daughter for years. Until about six years later, they have gone missing again. His checks were returned much to his displeasure. The daughter later came to California for school, and had been singing around Berkeley at night. She has been looking for the person who saved she and her Mother's life and gave them reasons to live. Her Mother told her that she could find him around the Bay, but suggested her not to".

She looked me in the eyes while speaking all these words. I was nervous, shaky, and uncomfortable. In the end, she moved over to my side and kissed me. With a smile, I understood everything that she did tonight was for me. I understood the reason that we went to Berkeley for acoustic night; I understood the reason she held my hands after the song; and I understood the reason she went to pick up the car herself. I shook my head with my eyes closed, and felt her hand caressing my trembling face.

"I hope you would forgive me for what I did tonight. But I just thought that young girl deserved a chance to meet with you - the one who made her. She deserved a chance to thank you".

I laid myself in her arms helplessly. Warmth of her heart was keeping me comfortable as ever. I didn't say anything. I didn't think anything needed to be said.

Art Works in Chaos

Nothing affected me more than an influential artwork. It doesn't matter how disturbing, how compelling, how forceful, how annoying, or how gloomy. I always braced myself for emotional shocks that these fine arts raged. This afternoon was no difference.

Have you seen red bubbles drawn in lines that represent a gruesome accident? Have you seen a realistic painting about how human experiment was operated, with some bisect body and a cut-off head? Have you seen an abstract that symbolizes a horrifying war? Have you spent time looking at an aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in drawing? Have you felt a powerful drawing that portrayed a deep gray sky with factories underneath? Have you seen a stripped naked man, strapped with firecracker and red ink, being filmed in front of camera? While each firecracker was exploding, pieces of them and the red ink went gushing. Have you seen this video that showed us how terrible and inhumane gunshot killing is?

I have felt all these emotions all afternoon. I have buried these emotions in my mind. They were haunting me with images and my own imaginations. I was trapped in my own world, and tried to break free from the darkness of my heart.

The darkness of my heart didn't prevail, however, because there were plenty of joys and daylight complementing the negativity, and pulling me away from the dreadful spiral.

There was a woman, symbolizing a house wizard, walking into a door, closing it, and climbing over layers of a wall. There were people, in a video, walking past one another only to show how our living world is just like a hallway. There were lines and dots connecting little galaxies, which made them a little time machines. There were tilted statues that could be straighten while screwed on tight. There were paintings giving me views to waterfalls, mountains, and babmoos. There were many more sarcastic, laughable, cute, and beautiful works shown among series of seriousness.

My emotions were pulled from all directions, and clashed in the middle of my body. I felt the beating, and took time to digest. I walked outside the door, and felt the sunshine and breeze. I looked at the beautiful young models from a graduation project, and were preparing for their runway walk. I saw people running around carelessly, and enjoying life. These scenes added to my thoughts, and slowly merged with other feelings in my head. They entered me, and eventually became mine.

It was great to be able to feel. It was great to be able to think freely. Yet it is the greatest for one to have the ability to digest such vast amount of creativity. I was nowhere near that state, but I was trying.

Take Little Hands

Strolling on the busy street, sweaty, disgusted, angered, I am aimed to destroy. I want payback. I want revenge. I want to see innocent blood spill, just as my bemourned family were drained until dry. My demand is simple - to let these people have a taste of the bitterness that I continuously tasted for years.

Flashback of a haunting moment and a muderous feat is still too close to be put behind. Because of them, I am taking my vengeance right here and now as I am to detonate at any second. Only if they knew, mercies will be begged, and tears will pour. But I, a man with steely heart, will not be shaken. They will die, just as my little sister was murdered, raped, and burned. They will feel my wrath, simply because they are the support of those murderous demons.

The festive celebration is behind the door. Crossing that line, I will find no return. A matyr I will become, and a hero I will be for many who are about to follow. I am ready to set an example as a true servant of the God. I have no regret. I have no fear. I feel treasured and pleasured to be looked up to.

But the little hands reach me, behind the closed door. The little eyes of innocence reach me behind the window of my soul. The little smile soften the steel that shields my broken heart. I take her little hands, as if I am taking my little sister's hands - the soft, pure, warm hands. I take them in mine, as tears fill my eyes. Time pause in and around me. Screams raise and alert, but I can't seem to care. Firearms are pointed at me, and I have to let go of her little hands.

Her little hands free me from my hatred.

Her little hands free me from my misery.

Her little hands separate me from others who either manipulate me with my own anger or see me as a souless enemy.

The little hands make me feel honorable and strong.

Bullets of reality hit as feelings of pain surge. My body is draining out blood and the lasts of my strength. I have failed, as a sacred fighter. I won't be an exmaple for many hot-blooded men. I will be laid away casually by my enemy and laughed at by my comrades. I choose this road at the last second, and will have any regret? Will I?

I have fell, and am seeing the final moment of myself. A hot steel sphere was fired in between my eyes. It is raging fast, but I see it moving slowly. With every inch it charges closer, my fear grows.

And then, everything goes black.

I am the shade between Light and Darkness

Light and Darkness
I am the shade between light and darkness. I am where everyone hides when defeated and hurt. I am where everyone resided to recover. I have no discrimination, and no need for repaying my graciousness. I am here to be the support that everyone needs.

Attention Whore
I am an attention whore, and I admit to be one. Some attention whores sell their whoring intentions, but are afraid of criticisms. They want to be appreciated, noticed, and complimented even with little contributions. They want to be sympathized when they are whining about minor annoyances. Yet when they are called out, they become annoyed and defensive. It is pathetic to a degree that I am ashamed to see.

Seraphim
I am an angel - a seraphim, one who is a shining blaze. All but one hails to me. Else the dark ashes they become. Kneel! And I shall forgive all your sin. Rise! And I shall make you my precious servants. Trite and tainted creatures, do not doubt and disbelieve. Or the tormenting fire will set you burning eternally.

Change
I am the change that many hate. I am the future that many fear. I give no safety or promises. I only show a path of adventure. I am not going to do things myself. Instead, ones who want me will need to have me done. I am the change that everyone talks about. I am the change that everyone needs. But when time comes, I am the change that everyone avoids.

Conscience
I am the conscience that is been missing among the race. Fools can't undertand me, and smarts can't stand me. But it is okay, I am just an outdated concept for all I care.

Cockroaches
I am a cockroach that crawls in your kitchen and your trash. I am the one that you want to step or spray on. You hate me. You hate my look. You hate the germs that I carry. But the true fact is: You hate me for being more useful to the nature than you are. You are just jealous of me, the cockroach.

Discrimination
I am that word that you don't want to be involved with. I am that word that you feel shameful of. I am that word you hide its concept in your heart yet express none. When you see a cracker, a nigger, a chink, a jap, a fag, a whore, an old person, a european, a hippie, a redneck, a tranny, a muslim, a hindu, a christian, or street bums, I am the hatred that pops up in your mind. You will say beautiful words to disguise your disgusting mind. You are a two-faced coward. You try to convince yourself that you are a good person, yet my presence will continue to remind you otherwise.

Over

I see
my doubts
clouding me
and put me down.
Getting weak,
backing down,
I fear,
I feel drowned.

Yet
I reach deep,
and find a bit strength.
That may just be what I need.

Set,
I am ready,
stick it to them
and set myself free.

I am over it-
over my shortcoming
Though I could lose everything,
I will keep on trying, til I am dying.

Growing Up

Blades of greens clashed
in the wailing wind and
found no shelter to hide
from the tears of the sky.
The beating marches on
and destruction has begun.
Violently, the rips and rapes
violate them nights and days.
No hopes, no end,
Everything turns from green to gray.

Tell Me

What do you believe and why does it make sense to you? I am wondering, and am wondering out loud. I am not confused, but rather intrigued. How can anyone believes in anything for sure? That being said, why do people believe in justice so much when so many people gets screwed over just because they are poor? Why do we believe in it? What makes us believe in it? That being said, why do we believe in karma? Why do we believe in anything other than a potential consequence of our action? Tell me, but don't convince me. I will believe you as I can.

There are so many things that are unbelievable, including things we cling on the most. Love, hope, destiny, ambition, kindness, just to name a few. Why do we believe in vague concepts? Why do we feel like these things are needed, in order to sustain our life? We are just animals, just another species on this planet. Shouldn't we be following the rule of nature - survival, and stay in harmony with our surroundings? Tell me, but don't convince me. I will believe you just because I can.

There are many things that we hate. Animals, plants, objects, emotion, you name it. But how do we hate something that doesn't hate back? Why do we spend time to waste such energy on such meaningless things? Are beavers really bad for the environment? Are hyenas really evil? Are swamps really dangerous to human? Why do we feel that way? Can we just accept what everything lives as it is? Is it objective to do so? Tell me, but don't convince me. I will believe you if I can.

Now tell me why should I feel self-rightious about my existence. Tell me why this world is my oyster. Tell me why should I be confident but not arrogant. Tell me about my flaws. Tell me about my mistakes. Tell me when I deserve praises. Tell me when I need to stand up for myself. Tell me there is no tomorrow, so I should seize today. Tell me I can, and I will. Tell me nothing can defeat me, even myself. Tell me all life, not man, are created equal. Tell me I am just another role player in this universe. Tell me, but don't convince me. I will believe when I can.

Too Much to Hold on to

I am returning to the origin where my mistakes were present. I collected them, looked at them, and left them about where they were. I couldn't correct them, because they were what made my life a unique one. I spent time to travel back in time just because I could and I wanted to.

I looked at myself and the future await. I couldn't see pass the mysterious dark cloud that mesmerized my mind. I was confused. Everything didn't seem to align yet in harmony. At that moment, I feared the change, and feared the unknown. I chose to go back yet again to the past because it was the safest decision that I could make. Because of that, I have missed many opportunity to hold on to a new begining.

The weight of the past has slowed me down. The future doesn't wait. I dance in between in a circular motion, and hope to get out of this repetition.

Close Away

You have the determination to be away, away from the lights and noises. But you never go too far. The pulses you radiate are so faint yet clear, they are everywhere in the air that I breathe. Always have you stayed close enough for me to feel your presence.

I am dwelling in the lights and noises where you have abandoned. I am residing with the madness of time while you calmly glimpse and smile at from an away land. I am seeing reflections of myself in people's eyes as I pass them, and am wondering: where are you able to reflect yourself? Is it a clear stream in the mountain, is it a tranquil lake, or, as usual, you only reflect yourself deep in your mind? I am missing you. I missing the philosophical eyes of yours. Even though you are only close away. Even though those faint pulses can be felt everywhere I destined to go.

You are close away, so close yet away. I can feel you, but I can't reach you. I am lost in this dizzying maze where each one of us is just another performer on the stage, even though I have been given a well-defined role. I see my reflections in other people's eyes. I see myself being envious of your vision and courage. I see myself being the opposite of you. The opposition is not complete but slight. It is pulling me close to you, close but away.

I am not expecting your return. I am not expecting you to tenderize me as you used to. I am not expecting my enlightenment due to you. With all those said, I choose to follow my script instead of breaking out. At least, I can feel your presence around me. I can grasp on those faint pulses. If I break out of my role, I will lose you, forever.So I rather surround myself with you, even though you are only close away.

Six Months

Six Months

They stood in the shallow water off the bank of Walden Pond. The water was strangely cold, but either of them could feel it. In close embrace, under the sun, they caressed one another gently. The moment was memorable for both of them, but it had been through a long period of emptiness. The last time they got together was exactly six months ago.

Six months of waiting, six months of discontent, and six months of morose were way behind them now. The future looked a bright as the mid-day sun.

It all began last November, when both of them met up in his apartment in Back Bay late at night. Nothing serious had happened, as both of them were polite and reserved, but the future looked just as great as it was six months later. At least, he believed so. Then there came the awkward moments when she was refusing anything from him. He grew bitter and hateful of her shortly after since he got no explanation from her or whatsoever.

More uneasy moment followed a month after, when two of them had to share a class together. Still, no acknowledgment, no conversation, and no emotion were expressed when they walked past each other.

The invisible wall between them began to break as one day they shared the same elevator down from the observatory. A rare smile and a few words were exchanged. Finally, they looked each other in the eyes one more time.

The visit to Walden followed shortly after and eventually led up to an intimacy.

However, the bright future was not guaranteed as two weeks had past since, and she, yet again, refused any further caring from him. She shut the door on him and left his life in chaos. He, on the hand, went back in time to search for every possible mistake made by him, but an answer was never found. Much to his dismay, he encountered she by surprise.

He walked up to her who was avoiding any eye contact, saying, "how have you been"? "Nothing", she said, and hoped to put an end to the conversation. "I was worried", he said, trying to keep the words rolling and getting a chance to understand what had happened. Unfortunately for him, words within her had become stingy. The dead air was cold as a February in Boston, and it only grew colder. Finally, he lost it and muttered "Are you going to say something or what? I don't have all day waiting for anymore single word answer".

"I am ok", she whispered, but was loud and clear to his ears. "Are you happy now? That's three words. That's more than what I can do for you". In disbelief he stood. His face turned into a display of tragedy. He was as speechless as he was crumbled. Worse yet, his sudden tantrum had further prevented him from seeing her trembling body. "I have to go", she said and turned around to walk away from this grave drama.

"So, this is it", he could be seen with a vengeful demon. "Well, then, I wish the very worst of you. I wish you live on like this, in loneliness and chaos. I wish you a sorrowful life and no one will ever care enough to baill you out of it. This is my curse to you if you haven't heard enough of it already". Turning around after he uttered these implacable words, he walked away biting his lips so hard and he started bleeding. Yet no sympathy came across his mind, but only had he seen her tearful eyes right from the beginning this wouldn't had gone so out of control.

The two tormented souls parted into emotional voids that only time could slowly fill up that emptiness.

Time passed, and May had turned into November. The world continued its course, and didn't care to wait for anyone. No matter how much bitterness and sorrow one had carried, one had to move on with them. He, moved to Quincy since, was on the train to downtown in a sunny November day. He looked out to the window from a nearl empty cart, watching the change of season and recalling the changes of his life. Slowly but progressively, he had licked his wounds over and over to a point that he almost recovered. But a coincidence happened as an April Fool's Day moment as the train ducked to the platform. He saw the face that haunted him the past months, the same face that he loved so much yet hated just as much.

She walked into the same cart, and caught up by another surprise encounter. The instance had her relived the sadness, guilt, and emptiness from the past six months. She only revisited all those emotion in a brief second. A smile of his lifted her out of that misery. Much to his surprise, she sat down next to him with the same relieving smile as well. There were no ill feeling between them, and no hatred lingering around them.

"It's our anniversary", he said, and wouldn't move his eyes away from her face. "I know, I have missed you", she said, and followed by a sigh of relieve. "So have I, and I really wanted to apologize for my words six months ago. I wanted to call you, but I didn't know if you would accept my apology". With a grin, she said "I wouldn't have". They both laughed.

"So, am I lifted from your curse"? She asked.

"Yes, you have, at least for now". He answered.

The two then shared the same embrace that they have shared twice in the past twelve months, and they kissed for the first time. The intimacy returned to them again after the long absence, but still it wouldn't hang around any longer as his destination was seconds away. He pulled himself away from this love story, and, to nobody's surprise, she accepted the parting naturally.

"I will see you again". She said, with confidence and bravery that she never had before. This would be the first time that they parted on a good term, and it will leave no agony for him this time with assurance. He said, "yes indeed. Six Month it is".

Shortly after, they both disappeared in this sunny November Day and into the crowd of Boston.

Tied Up

It was a Sunday morning at Los Bagels off I Street where two people met up by a wall of glass. They, a man and a woman, sat across a table, for the first glance of each other, among a big morning crowd. This seemed to be a wordless stand-off, at least through the eyes of some spectators who were missing all the messages of flirts, challenges, and lusts exchanged.

Some other have noticed the deep passion between the two, but were either too close-minded or care-free to acknowledge it.

The longer they sat across the table from one another, the stronger their lustful aura grows. The place is becoming more crowded as the morning turning late. More people, unintentionally, stepped over their shared territory. Sensing the invincible and passionate bonding between the two, the intruders escaped frightened as if demons had visited them. The two could care less as long as their exchange in thoughts were not interrupted. After awhile they have turned the speechless moment to a vicious stared down.

Between them, the doubts became clear and the only thing left to do was to make the move.

Eventually, he got up to a disposal and then, upon his return, pulled the chair to her side. He sat close by her without leaving much breathing room, and swiftly moved his lips near her ear - covered by shining dark hair, and whispered, 'As you have wished, I am gonna tie you up, spread your legs wide and tie them up, too. You will be blindfolded, and every touch I make to you will send a frightening shock wave into your mind. You are to be incited by surprises that are to come, and my fingers, my lips, my tongues will send you to a state that you will beg for more. Then as your wetness begins its calling, I will stab into you as your legs were spread wide'. She listened to his degrading words in whisper, and in the end she smiled.

She was not a woman to be taunted, nor was she afraid of challenges. She was no innocent girl as her appearance. Just as he wasn't the well-spoken gentleman who he appeared to be.

Instance past since the initiation, and her smile had faded into a grin. She approached her pink-color lips next to his ear and whispered, "I would like to see you try, and prove to me that you aren't just all talk. Just so you know, I am a brawler and may be the biggest challenge you have yet to face". He glimpsed her face from the corner of his eyes as she continued with her reversal, "I am not that easily pleased, Monsieur. If you fail to back up your words, then I will tie you up and ride your cock for three hours straight. Just so you know, you may not be able to fuck again after that". Slowly, she laid herself back onto the chair, but her words, her blows, and her perfume lingered to his side.

He got up from his chair and took her hand. They walked subtly away from the crowd into their own realm... for an ultimate showdown.

At Least You Are Not Drowning in Raw Sewage

You can't ask for anything worse than to be drowning in sewage. You'd wish to have died before that even happened.

However, it happened earlier in a small, Northern Gaza village - Umm Naser, where a sewage reservoir collapsed. The reservoir was made to intake wastewater that exceeded the treatment plant's capacity (four times greater). The collapse of the reservoir implemented a raw sewage surge that instantly kill several people with enormous amount of force. The survivors in the village were then left under several feet of flowing foulness and toxic microbes.

This human tragedy is added yet another agony to the already severed lives.

Waiting

"Waiting"
Menacing, brawing, I step over mines
just to make through some harsh times.
I can't and won't pull punches, and I am
to fight against turbulance on my way.
I am not backing down, or sitting around,
waiting for my chance - my winning round,
to reach me miraculously sooner or later.
I will rise now, and stay above forever.
Not coming down, not letting anything go,
I am grinding to stay atop, even though
many want to see me fall, roll, and crawl
back to where I come from. And stay miserable

Not Listening

"Not Listening"

Whispering behind my ears, you said
"try a little harder and you may
find me under a breezy shade.
That will be your moment to rest".
Words linger in a spiral movement, and you
cover my eyes with your soft hands.
They carry me above and under,
from a beginning to an end.
But I am to refuse your enchantment,
and reject your song of sirens.
On this road I walk, needing none
of your love and none of your care.
Your words are just images of
illusive matter, and therefore
I push you back further behind myself,
leaving your words rising in an empty spiral.

I am not listening to you anymore....

Mad River Madness

Two hours have passed, several conversations have died, the Sun was beginning to set, and I pushed her down against the sand with my palms feeling her smooth and slippery thighs. This wasn't about her funny story about her beat up truck, wasn't about her Super Mario Brothers' ring tone, or wasn't even about her love for salsa dance. This was about us drawn to one another, like any other love story, on a warm beach and under a beautiful sunset.

She caught my eyes long ago on the dance floor. Always beaufitul on the dance floor, she has a shy smile, awkward eyes, fair skin tone, and a pair of breathtaking long legs. Every reggaeton we danced, I had held her close without permission, and felt her little resistance and massive acceptance. She was inviting, but never gave in. After long waiting, the chance has come and now my tongue was behind her lips, and my fingers were stringing on her sculpture like body.

Where was the shyness that she possessed? I didn't know. But I did rememberhow she began to melt under my touches. I remembered how her body trembled as my suction was atop of her perky spots. I remembered how she reacted with a little scream every time they were bitten. Under her shorts my fingers slipped in searching for the passage of pleasure. I teased her, and she wanted no more, no more teases. She wanted parts of me inside of her, inside of where I could barely slipped on of my bones in. She was begging for harder thrusting, which I wouldn't give. Because I wanted her to wait and earn her orgasm. She was still begging, with a mesmerizing moans and watery eyes. I, again, refused to bow down to her requests. Pulling out of her slippery warmness, I commanded what might have excited her the most. It wasn't hard to find while being so mych more hardened. I circled my finger tips on it while whispering the most erotic words to further seduce this young and inexperienced soul. I wanted her to be a slut but for me only.

Beach crowd had been walking along the breaking waves. Have they noticed this pervertion? I hoped they had. I hoped they would be enjoying this scene. This was a tango between love and lust, morality and eroticism, and pleasure and law. We were achieving everything that people only dare to write, under the broad daylight. We were enjoying every second of it.

Have I had enough? No, and neither does she. Grabbing my circling finger, she stab it against her moist dip again and this time I could thrust her with two. She was flooding with fresh and clean stickiness, and I was giving it hard. I was all over her sensual spots, biting, pintching, fingering, which led to her increasingly louder moans. They got louder until she snapped, and my fingers were sensing tightening pulsing and a hard gush. With her still panting, I dipped those pulled out, honey-covered fingers beyond both of our lips. She looked at me with a peachy smile, as if everything wasn't over yet. She had a plan to make me feel the same way she did. So she sat on me, dusted sand all over me, reached into my pants for the standing and sauceful pole. She had it, and had it firmly gripped in her sandy hand. I was laying back and let her touch me from up and down, again and again. The little particles in her hand were increasing the excitement, and with every squeeze, she took me one step closer to an eruption. She whispered in my ears, and wanted me to surrander under her wickedness. So I did, as my panting grown into groaning, ejected none but the hottest love onto her. And I could tell, from her look, that she was finally smiled.

If this was considered as morally degrading, then let me descend to the deepest Pit in exchange for more of this. I enjoyed it. Enjoyed the tonguing, enjoyed the caresses, and enjoyed the orgasm. I swear, when she juiced my love handle with that devilish smile, I wanted to keep her a little longer, or maybe forever. Even though we didn't keep each other for more than a week.

Was it pure lust, or was there a little love involved? I still couldn't find any answer.

Now the Sun has set, and we strolled over toward what took us here.